belinda

2007-11-18T15:51:00.000+08:00

hohoho oh merry krunchy roll.

havent signed into blogger for a long, long, longggg time. because..
I'VE MOVED!
(:

BYE EVERYONE.

2007-11-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

i got new blogs! three in total. but i'll delete two soon.

and this is the sixth post today-.-

2007-11-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

haha. i went searching for money.
hidden money, in my bag, some disney container and the leftover from this week. somehow, i feel rich, for this few mins of course i'll be broke later when i go to the bank.and so, money collected i'll deposit and transfer them and tadah!yayy, not much losses overall in my account. im satisfied now(:

haha. i feel like moving! im bored of blogspot): maybe LJ, or wordpress. see how.

and!
>:
they just cancelled E! Entertainment. my god, how could they. now ive got no more shows to watch everything else is so boring. #@^$#&^$*&&^#@$%##$^&&^&*%@#!@

2007-11-10T19:30:00.000+08:00

shucks! i think i blew almost hundred this week! soon, i'll have no more savings. its time to save now.

2007-11-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

i have one happy news, and one sad news.

HAPPY!:
my father said i look like this HONGKONG actress! and she's quite prettaye(: okay, actually i dont think she's pretty, as compared to my the other hk eyecandy(:

BUT. SAD!:
my sister had to criticise by comparing her and me-.- saying i have a fat nose, and her nose is sharp and her face is long but my face is fat and blarblarblar, all in all, she's trying to say im sooooooo much fatter than her la (which i wont deny anyway.) and say there's sth wrong with my father's eyes-.-

then my mum said my sister (the one who criticised.) looks like this HK actress too(an older woman in fact!HAHAHA! OLD HAG!>: ) and i think that actress' face is really flat hahaha my sister then went on criticising her face and dont think that actress is pretty and said 'you zhe me duo ren hai shuo wo xiang ta!TA MA DE!' hahaha i swear she's just trying to say she's pretty-.-

anyway, i sense something's wrong with my phone, i wanna send it to the hospital soon. before anything worse crops up. and today's quite bad, irritated over trivial stuff but then again, i dont really bother. hah, and i didnt study much today. and my eyes are like drroooooping but i dont really feel tired.

OH, one stupid thing, i was watching tv ( AND I BET I TVED TODAY FOR MORE THAN SIX HOURS!) and these ppl were talking about some ghost story, i swear i got freaked out i complained to iyl but she laughed-.- so i switched channel and watched only the ending of this romance show and i actually teared like shit when i watched..last five to ten mins of the show? hahaha i enjoyed wild n out alot.

and one more thing! (haha i think tv really spice up my today.) my mum and sis watched this chinese show. some sort of fortune thing. this man was telling the ladies what will happen to them if they dont get a boyfriend after the age of 30. and it differ according to your star signs. AND GUESS WHAT MINE IS! (HAHAHAAHHAHAHAH) (oh mine is aquarius anw. so all aquarians, join me in this.) WE'LL BECOME NUN! so i guess i know where's my future home is. maybe in some temple or church. then i'l practise -tok-tok-tok-tok-tok-ing or -amen-ing. haha nun!

anyway, yes shopping with bf too!
ok, one long post. time to sleep! i promise i'l start on econs soon.

can you believe ashley olsen made out with someone much, muCH, MUCH older than her?!

2007-11-06T20:32:00.000+08:00

im left with one week of break for studying and ONE WEEK OF A'S! which is..five bloody papers. OH YAY!
just one more week of papers man and i'll be liberated! the first thing to look forward is THE ZOO OUTING! yayy, now i can see iyliana's and saba's and edel's friends! not amina's friends because amina's my future waitress, so cannot label her.
next up, class outing with our CT! i bet it'll be quite weird cause we're not really close to him in the first place, but he's sponsoring half our meals at seoulgarden so..i'll let amina entertain him, since she's good at entertaining ppl.hahaha.
after that, we have 2e4outing! but i admit i dont really remember everyone in 2e4, cause i mixed them up with 4e4.HAHA! but i do know.i cant wait for the outing!(:
i know we'll have 4e4 and IPHIGENIA and SOG outing too. alright maybe not but we'll see. i see lotsa spending too. probably on my way to get a piano. since i cant go japan. i think i cant be bothered to go anywhere else.

not forgetting,
yesterday i was damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn depressed over chem. i really felt like the end of the world!hahahah, but i was really disappointed that i honestly thought there's no point in taking a's since all the papers are like shit,
BUT! today brought us hope with math p2 though i got one whole qns wrong( -.- ON PROBABILITY JUST BECAUSE OF ONE WORD! ): ) lets see, if i cant score good in chem, CHIONG FOR ECONS AH!get better than prelims! B!or better still, A!
(:

but i am still depressed over chem paper 3 ):
im so whiney.
but not as whiney as chuanting still.

2007-11-03T20:47:00.000+08:00

Wont look back,
When I say goodbye.
I'm gonna leave this a hole behind me,
Gonna take what's mine tonight.
Because every day, becomes a wasted chance.
You're gonna wake up feeling sorry,
Because life wont wait,
I guess it's up to you.

I FEEL ******** AT THIS POINT OF TIME!
>:

2007-11-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

I AM A MONSTER!
>:

okay, im getting depressed. but its not really over the papers. i feel so..unhappy with myself.
ay, cambridge is quite extreme this year. whats up with 2 vector and 2 complex qns all in paper one. so far, down with four papers. thats quite fast. i need to feel prepared for chem cause i lost it. econs is in my toilet bowl right now, or maybe in the sewage. dont worry, i'll get it back SOON!

go belindapoon!
(:

and after a's. not much plan. ive totally lost the shopping crave or even like catching up with ppl. my mood's been numbed. i feel tired thinking of life after a's. gotta work, gotta give up, gotta be motivated. alright, i'll be normal and well and crazy (alr am) and happy again on 20th nov!

2007-10-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

i cant believe this.
it's my very first day of A's.
and my mood was totally spoilt even before the paper!

THATS IT MAN!
>:

i am so upset upset upset with you'll and will be for the.. rest of my life!

AND I DONT FEEL THE 'NOW IS THE A'S PERIOD'.

okay, i was just kidding about what i said earlier.
):
and now, i alr know where my future lies.
slaveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2007-10-28T02:22:00.000+08:00

And I can so I will and you'll see your hero come running
Over and over tonight

when, will i be able to look forward to tomorrow again?

I HAVE BIG AND BLACK EYEBAGS THAT IS DROOPING LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS.
and i am fat.
>:

2007-10-23T17:04:00.000+08:00

might as well shoot me dead right now.

2007-10-21T15:40:00.000+08:00

i am officially a very POOR person!

):

2007-10-20T02:26:00.000+08:00

and.. im not asleep yet! i must listen to gf and sleep early!

and.. ive totally skipped econs mock i promise promise promise i'll study hard for econs.

and..

im going to do some chem now.

and..
i dont see any effort in studying for physics!

bf i know you miss me.

2007-10-18T00:50:00.000+08:00

i feel so fucking pissed and irritated i think i can kill one million people i can just tear them apart and chop them and dump them onto the roads then the crows will come and eat and they'll lao sai for all i care and all the crows will die from shitting excessively then i'll be doing a good deed in all cause crows are disgusting creatures. and ive wasted the whole bloody day cause i feel damn fucking tired and tuition was not even productive for me i feel damn annoyed with everything now i cant concentrate on studying i cant focus but i cant sleep cause its too early i'll just stone in my bed. and i know im wasting so many minutes here for no reason cause its just one of my many mood swings and i am so gonna make tmr productive. my god, just fuck A's man. okay im gonna search for handphone models for a while now.

on a happier note,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDELIA KENTAL.
i hope you like your oh-so-yellow gifts.

bye.

2007-10-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

ive found another one i like. and he's very real.hahaha (:
too bad wont see him anymore.
(luckily not another she!(: )

didnt study much today. i watched starmovies channel eight and channel u and channel 55. thats round up to five hours of tv. i feel so guilty now i forgot about math mock tmr. hohoho.

i feel like.. A's is never coming! and im enjoying myself alot.
:/

2007-10-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

okay shall post some photos i took for the (official) last day of school.

and today was EMO! at least i felt that way when i watched the video dixon did. it was splendid. seeing kek and jerlyn in the class photos made me miss year one alot. somehow, the girls came onto the train of thoughts.

and this, is one present (for gf) i felt very satisfied when completed (: (: (:

i feel so proud of myself haha though i spent alot of time on this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST GIRLFRIEND!(:

(i like your ezlink pic!)

oh and, 17days left to A's.

greaatttttttt.

2007-09-30T21:24:00.000+08:00

i didnt wanna blog today. im trying to refrain myself from using the comp except for using tpjc.net but.. i've decided to post some pictures.

oh i had pillow fight with bb today. haha 5 pillows and 2 bolsters
one bolster is enough to knock him down!
I WIN! HAHAHA
(:

see something common in all the pictures?
- chuanting looked really spastic in ALL the pictures!hahahaha
i like her in the last pic. hahahahaa so FAT AND ROUND!

//foronemoreday

2007-09-29T19:42:00.000+08:00

haha i've been editting this post like so many times. type backspace type backspace type backspace. save me, this is borrrrrrrrring me.

I WANT TO HAVE A KID! I'LL ADOPT A CUTE ONE SOOOOOONNNNNNNN (DEFINITELY NOT LOCAL!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA THIS SUDDEN THOUGHT CAME ABOUT CAUSE I SAW SIMPLY TOO MANY GOODLOOKING KIDS TODAY! AND I WANT TO HAVE ONE TOO!(:

not forgetting,

I MISS FELIX POON ALOT!

as in the baby felix poon. not the sixyearold one. ha ha ha

(:

I WANT TO GO OVERSEAS!

2007-09-29T00:46:00.001+08:00

yes!
i've just finished watching the last episode of my korean show and now, i do not need to stay up late and i can have more sleep now and pay attention in class!
the korean show is very very very nice! hahaha
luckily there's still my saturday K.show to keep me alive(:

okay, i'll concentrate more on studying now.
and erm..just
STUDY!

; lying make you happy.

2007-09-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

PICTURES!(:
-sog group pictures
- C, B, F, A, S, N, K!

-from aminah's bday diary!

the MOON-CHACHAs! and amina the penguin(:

OH,
AND WE GOT BACK OUR MATH AND PHYSICS RESULTS TODAY.
SO LEFT WITH GP AND ECONS.
GOODBYE WORLD.

2007-09-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

FIRSTLY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMINA MAISARA
I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THE 2008DIARY AND I HOPE YOU'LL END UP BEING A GLITTER GIRL!HAHAHAHA

SECONDLY,
TODAY IS A GOOD DAY 'CAUSE ITS...
SOG DAY!
ITS A HAPPY DAY CAUSE ALL OF US CAME TGT (EXCEPT FOR NAZ, AND I MISS THIS GIRL ALOT!): ) THERE'S ME CHOT QIX KID FA SYIK. AND WE BREAK FAST TOGETHER AND LISTENED TO STORIES AND WE TOOK NICE PICTURES IN THE TOILET! I'LL UPLOAD NEXT TIME.
ONCE AGAIN, HAPPY SOG DAY!(:

FRIENDS BY CHANCE,
SISTERS BY CHOICE!
<3

THIRDLY,
IM VERY VERY VERY TIRED NOW I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD GO TO SCHOOL TMR, SO I'LL DECIDE TMR MORNING WHICH IS MOST PROBABLY YES, I'LL BE GOING TO SCHOOL TO WASTE MY DAY AWAYYYY.
~~AND YEAH, IM STILL DEPRESSED OVER THE GRADE~~
HA .

2007-09-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

as i've said earlier, as i was quite assured, as all of us should have expected, that the promise's broken. the pathetic grade didnt sink in, i didnt let it i was happy in school, all laughing away and crapping and fooling around with the glitters, i guess it gave way afterall. during the bus ride. i wasnt satisfied with the grade (though mr adams claimed its a big improvement. and i think he always wrote that on my papers.) so i took the papers out and looked through where ive gone wrong. i felt that i didnt deserve this kind of grade cause i spent like, one fucking week on this subject and i thought i should be able to get at least a borderline pass? okay, maybe for that moment, i was kidding myself cause our class didnt do that well as a whole. but the rest..yeah some of the rest did especially well i didnt know if i am supposed to feel more motivated to study harder and score for the A's or damn demoralised that i couldnt be bothered anymore. initially, it'll be like 'wow, if she/he can do it, i can do it too.' like..why not, as long as we work harder we'll do better right? then after a few minutes, it'll turn into a 'depression'. how shitty can this get..if i listened to kirara, i think i'd just breakdown in the bus and crryyyy.but didnt lah, not that extreme la, maybe i was numbed to disastrous results. like how bad could it get man. a U is a U. 10+% still a U 20+% still a U,30+% still a U. esp when missing the S grade by just 0.3 mark. i didnt even dare to look into her eyes. all i know was that im wrong, but i dont know what. and my mood was bad, like even replying halfheartedly sounding as if im gonna just faint so she cant say anything about it right. but i havent told her the results anyway. she'd have lectured me. that i didnt work hard enough (which may be partly true?) and they wont get it. they just dont. and, im partly blaming mr adams but thankful for him cause of his 'i know this is gonna be retarded but im not retarted okay' moments. hah.

im THIS depressed, that i dont even feel like going to school tmr ( but cannot!because its amina's bday lah...........) or i dont even feel like watching my korean show tonight.

and somehow, overseas universities seem to be more appealing now. i feel like migrating. i wanna migrate to...somewhere else and awayyyyyy from this depressing sucky stressful life of a Singaporean's. LALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anw, i was just kidding about not watching my korean show tonight haha duh, obviously i'll catch it. okay
BYE TO ALL STRESSEDOUTLIKESHIT PPL. be happylalu-ah and not be like the always so depressing and yet so drama-mama me. hahaha
i'll blog again when. im happy again!
(:
cheerios.

2007-09-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

've been blogging too much!

anyway,
i have a new favourite piano piece.
(: (: (:

but.
i dont know how to get it.

' korean/jap.

2007-09-23T03:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes we walk alone,
sometimes we walk together,
it's ok if we're not always together.

i have a feeling,
've wasted it all.
mann.

2007-09-23T00:05:00.000+08:00

-
when you cry, be sure to dry your eyes, cause better days are sure to come and when you smile, be sure to smile wide and dont let them know that they have won. and when you walk, walk with pride, dont show the hurt inside cause the pain will soon be gone. and when you dream, dream big, as big as the ocean blue, cause when you dream, it might come true. and when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud cause it will carry all your cares away. and when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself and it will help you feel okay. and when you pray, pray for strength, to help you carry on when all your troubles come your way.

-
shopping doesnt bring the ): away.

and it still amuses me, about how stuff works out and how it shatters within minutes. or seconds. and how it changed a person. it brings me pain and yet its the remedy for it. how irony.

-
i think after prelims, ve lost all the motivation to study for A's.
can i back out, and not take A's. can i quit school now. im tired of worrying for everything that's coming my way and to do something about it is equal to doing something which i do not like.
oh .yeah , i forgot. we dont have a choice. at least. i dont. right?
): ): ):
my superman, save me.

2007-09-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

the reason i laughed today:

the book BIASE gave me for my 18th bday, full of alot of ppl's wishes from my classmates to the canoeists to random ppl (e.g. bryan wong! haha)

and one page. (the rock has a funny shape!heh)

and i went shopping in POPULAR!

2007-09-21T00:03:00.000+08:00

//editted
xu zhengyu is sooooooooooo sweet!

alrightey, 855am today marked the end of our prelims and wheeeeee was jumping around telling them im going orchard im going to shop and i was sooooo happy and excited though tired and physics paper1 was..ok i forgot what was the paper about.ha ha. and i guess next week we're collecting our results? which then i might get damn depressed over the results
ohwell, 38 DAYS TO A'S NOW.

went town, and walked like from taka to wisma to taka to wisma to fareast to paragon to heerens and finally, home. i swear, my feet almost killed me. if i could, i'd left my feet there man. but thats obviously impossible. so i dragged them everywhere.
and i feel like, i havent shopped enough. i still feel deprived..
though i know you know we all know that i, we and everyone should start studying soon.

oh and yesterday i couldnt sleep, i bet i slept like 2plusAM 'cause i was thinking of my pri school friends, secondary school friends and jc friends. i thought of alot, alot alot alot alot of ppl. i think close to hundred or maybe more.

i still remembered my very first pri school friend was crystal but i dont know where on earth she is now. then this friend whom im not very close to, but somehow just felt this connection with her haha but im not close to her anyway and not talking too, at least she's in my prischool memory. then came alone pamella lee han ni! though not talking too, but hey still missing her and will continue to do so i betcha she's doing great in vjc. and i remembered this close friend of mine in pri 4 i think her name was tan shiya, i dont even know which sec school she went to and i have no idea where she is now too. i remembered alot of the rest too, like tanjiayuan michellelooi (where i always hangout at her place. like..alawyssssss bathed there ate there do projects there everything there!) cheryllim cherylannesim reshma&sushma the smarty twins raihanaharun and alot more lah.

tkgs,
i really miss that school. it has changed so much that the colour of the pillars suck like shit. ha ha ha. its like orangey in the gay colour or..gay orange. its just so g-a-y. but hey, i missed climbing all the wayyyyyyyy to the 4th storey everymorning

and our eufourians i miss them. and we have our sexymama DOREA and this dumbdumb blur JODINE. im still amused by the fact that, first, they have the same birthday. second, they're the two tallest in our class and almost the same height. third, dorea stands first in the line and jodine's the last. hahaha the two pillars of our class. haha

ha i remember how fatimah and i named the canteen tables because we always stayed back in school and do random stuff then there's this table with holes (i bet someone poured acid on it or sth) we named it 'HOLEY' like duh. hahaa and this particular table always beside the dustbin we named it SMELLY! hahaha thats my fave table okay. now you know why sometimes i pick tables right beside the bin. and everyday after school, we'll just go to our usualhangout place at the NP room. and we just fool around there. and i remember NP is forever so busy we always had cheerleading comps and banner for orientation farewell POP. my god. thebestmemories i can ever ask for. cheerleading was the best. all the pyramids and falling down i remembered once i climbed to the top and then. haha i fell so everyone below me just collapsed. and i was the third level. hehh and i landed on sila's back or arm! NP has so much to talk about i think i can write a book on my NP life(:

and now, wow..
JC.
sucks totally. but it has its good points too, like really nice friends being there for you throughout these two DAMNimpt years. ah, nothing much to say about jc. maybe i'll talk about that when i graduate from college.

ANYWAY,
xu zhengyu is really really really very very very sweeeeeeeet
<3

&korea!
(:

2007-09-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

TOMORROW IS MY LAST PAPER CUM SHOPPING DAY!
WOOOOHOOOOOOO.
(: (: (:

and today is...
BELINDAISIMPORTANTTOAMINA DAY!
not that im only impt to her today, just that.. im more impt to her than saba,iyliana and edel for today. the rest of the year equal lah.
hohoho.

okay. im waiting for my korean show to start at 1140pm.
what should i do in the time being.
i feel superduperhuper lazzzzzeeeehhhhh to study for physics paper 1. but i have no inkling about what is P H Y S I C S.

guess what!
im going shopping tmr.
woots.

2007-09-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

ahhh, i still feel uncomfortable.

was watching 200poundsbeauty just now, ahh so sweet(: plus my another two shows! everyday's exciting thanks to all these shows!
im falling more&more in love with korean shows!(: (: (:

okay back to prelims,
tmr's my second last paper. im left with paper 1s so obviously im not really bothered with the mugging anymore. and i even took a step further and watched a movie today. NO RESERVATIONS! not bad movie, satisfied after watching the movie. ohwell, my next step will be shopping. shopshopshop till i drop dead. that'll be after prelims. cant wait.

bahh, im so sick of studying.
school's redundant. ~~A's too.~~
>:

CHRIS EVANS!
(:
LALALAAAAA

2007-09-16T05:24:00.000+08:00

hohoho. im still awake at this hr.
and guess what.
i'll sleep the whole morning and afternoon away later on.
there goes the time for studying..
HMM.

2007-09-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

hah, once again,
i blogged something but decided to save it as a draft 'cause i think ppl read alr, will think too much hahahahahahaha.
but i feel good now. saying whatever i wanted to say.
(:

and i know iyliana saw what i blogged!
wahlau eh, so suay man. HAHA.
and i caught THE RAT SHOW today!
it was good(:

okay.
gooddayppl.
just one more week of prelims. hang on.

2007-09-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHH,
how can you do this to me.
halfway through my prelims papers and next week's papers are very impt to me. omg. i feel like ~~crying~~ laughing now looking at the amt of work i need to study.
):

2007-09-12T20:22:00.000+08:00

haha amina maisara sent me this that says " WHY THE BATTLE FOR GAY RIGHTS IS GAINING GROUND ACROSS THE GLOBE." then she said maybe spore will have samesex marriage so.. i got hope! HAHAHA. excitingg.

and.. just now got tremors! but SADLY, i didnt get to feel ah. so i said maybe just now sit in the bus then the bus vibrate too much cannot feel hahaha. even my family didnt get to feel! ahh, so exciting then i sort of exaggerated and told iyliana maybe they'll cancel A's (for some reasons?) hahaha yay. okay nonsense ah. and iyliana took bus ten home with me today! we were supposed to sleep but i talked to her throughout the whole journey HAHA.

oh, and today's papers were difficult. dont wanna think about how much i can score man. chem paper 3 and gp papers were damn draining i was so tired i went home and did not really study for econs. but luckily only case studies ah. so read through a bit okay alr. SO, so far all the papers suck and there's more to come. but i feel like holiday-ing alr!haha but next time i think got more to prepare? 'cause econs essays and math paper2 will have complex numbers and vectors and maclaurin's series plus DE.yupp

and we went Long John to eat because tmr's the starting of their fasting month. i guess im gonna save more money, 'cause then i'll fast a little with them! less time in canteen = less money spent on food. then after that we bought ear studs and we all bought the same one! but diff colour.lime green and purple(: then i bought another 2 green studs and then..i dragged them to the foodcourt and i finally had my PEANUT ICEKACANG! and there we talked for .quite some time. the talk was GOOOOOOOOODDDD HAHAHAHAHA I KEPT LAUGHING LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS. hahahaha.

and my mummy bought donuts!(: and my sister's friend gave her donuts from somewhere else. so like wow, so many donuts. and i ate ALOT today alr. nvm, fasting (maybe 40% of fasting) will help me get rid of the fats later.hahaha

i dont know why, but this week's not bad except for the papers we had.

(: take care ppl! play hard, study hard! hohoho.

OH and i took picture of this which i wrote in april. and i kept laughing when i saw it.

2007-09-09T14:48:00.000+08:00

HOW CAN YOU, BEING THE ONLY PLAYSTATION I TOUCHED (and i didnt touch the other one that they brought in!) DIE ON ME WHEN I WANNA PLAY SOME GAMES!though i havent touched you for years and though prelims is tmr. HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME! I AM SOOOOOOO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!
>:

2007-09-09T01:09:00.000+08:00

okay i've decided to blog after reading everyone's blog.

1) proudly announced that i've successfully inspired AMINA MAISARA to love the supposedly more horrendous topic on earth which we always get a damn low Ugrade which is ORGANIC CHEM!yayy. suddenly think that A for chem may not be impossible afterall(:
and thankyou iyliana, for the boxing keychain! we'll box the Ugrades away!i can train you on arm power hahaha!
2) i feel super demoralised for econs now. i got back the fac test the results were horrifying. god.

anyway prelims in 2 days! or say, tomorrow. and after prelims in four week's time, thats when the real battle starts. im sure i'll be prepared by then. do this the first only and last time man.
oh something just struck me. weimin said the yellow book is useless 'cause the qns in the book arent really the qns coming out in the exam papers. thats why he's doing exam papers instead of the yellow book. someone, tell me its not true. 'cause if it is, it'll be, another time to get a U. ahh, damn him. i dont wanna bother, shouldnt have listened in the first place.

watched the snow queen. ah, its so so so nice. i really cant wait for every saturday. 'cause this will make my day!so sweet, plus a little of excitement(:

oh, and i've not watched a movie for more than a week! hehhh. i tried persuading mymum to bring us ( my cousins and ME!) to watch the rat show, BUT failed. today i asked kelvin if he wanted to watch the movie 'cause he knows what the movie is about. then i said i'll bring him go watch the rat movie one day and he said okay. so i said okay, when im free i'll bring you go. and then i realiseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, next two weeks prelims so NOT FREE. after that, worse still! not free. ):

- i told them, that the promise i made about prelims was quite impossible. but i promise i'll do my best anyway.

anyway, studying for five days in school has been quite productive. but i've no time to cover all subjects, unfortunately. simply no time eh? but i feel much closer to biase now(: and amina made me spit water yday. on the table, chair and floor on the way to the drain. i spit thrice. hahaha just because she said 'ber, are you depressed?' i was high, you see. like super high. laughing non stop and almost rolling all over the floor and stuff like that. and saba was jumping from bench to bench. she looked as though she's doing ballet in the air la. hahaha

okay. this is one long post i should go to sleep now.
everybody good luck for your prelims!(:
j1s study hard for your promos. esp bf!

oh, and i miss these ppl during the hols. thought alot about them. what we did last time, alot of flashback. not emo but hehhh, i missed those times. i want to have a new collection of moment tgt. okay, for the time being, lets focus.(:

and not forgetting,

2007-09-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

all in my mind now is just,

blank.
what happened to the 'organic chem' folder!

-
four days left to prelims. and i've not touched physics at all, and math and i still suck at micro for econs. chem is forever underground. i hope whatever ive done the past few days pays off, or i can just jump down that building where we saw iyliana's friends! HA HA HA.

math math math, what should i do with you.
mr physics, can i date you soon. like tmr?
ahhh, my life's so screwed up. A's in 50+ days. THE HUGE A'S.

play hard, study hard.

im so goddamn worried for myself.
what am i doing-

2007-09-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

xinyi bought munchy donut for me.
and my sister bought home donuts from donut factory!
DONUTS EVERYWHERE!
and we're fighting over what we wanna eat. but im full after eating 2 and a bite of donuts. 'cause i ate alot of chocolates during tuition. and this banana marshmellows. its this enormous bag of banana marshmellow it tasted like plasticine but i ate it anyway to keep myself awake during tuition. its like 600g its SUPER BIG! hahahaha and there's one person who came to my mind. when i saw the monkey cartoons on the bag itself :/ and i told xinyi to just throw the marshmellow to him. hehh
im so dead tired. so late and im still in school uniform 'cause i just reached home. im gonna bathe and probably i'll be a little more awake and hopefully i can get myself to study a little more. if not SLEEP!

bye.
oh and im quite disappointed with my physical chem results): and im a little more hopeful on math now. whats this man. up for one sub and down for another ): badbadbad!
i'll conquer organic chem! i'll conquer complex number! i'll conquer the whole of physics!
okay
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
STUDY HARD.
(:

2007-09-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

(:
i just came back from studying with choohuiying and dorea!
and i got to know one BIG secret!:/

anyway, studying with them is good.and practically tables around us were mj. yupp. i koped quite a number of chem notes from hying! yayy, and ive yet to copy the whole mindmap of organic chem and they wanted to go home so dorea took pictures of the notes!heh. their chem notes are super good. its like there's their own detailed lecture notes, they have the summarized kind for revision! so its like two damn thick sets. thankyou huiying(:

yayy.
im throwing away alot of stuff after A's. like one of the study tables. so i can put my PIANO in the studyroom(: (: (:
so happy.
and we're meeting jodine yam on thursday!
like finally.

ok have school tmr early in the morning till evening and tuition after that.
bye. studyhard ppl.

2007-09-01T19:54:00.000+08:00

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

people, be enthu about studying!

now, enthu reminds me of np!
(:

2007-08-31T23:11:00.000+08:00

I heard he sang a good song,
I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him,
to listen for a while
And there he was, this young boy,
a stranger to my eyes

-

should i do chem or physics or go to sleep and study early in the morn tmr?
i'll decide later.
anyways, teacher's day was ultimate boring. i almost fell aslp while talking to the teachers. and we had no lessons today. and i have no idea what ive come to school for. i should have ponned!

whatever it is, HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!
(: i'll try my very best and squeeze in all the info into my pea brain and do well for A's!

afterwhich, studied/slept at tamp lib. and caught hairspray.this weekend will be good. holidays will be good. 'cause im gonna study more and enjoy myself at the same time which will be watching of tv/movies!(:
and As in..about two months. thats short after that i'l be free! cant wait for after A's. and im not going prom hohoho.i miss my havoc times.

nonetheless,
here comes the photo of the day!at the bottom left is FATangchuanting!

and i havent decided whether i should slp or study!
:/
okay people in tpjc, studyhard for prelims.A's.promos!
(: motivate motivate motivate!
-i am your motivation!

2007-08-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

my mummy asked, what did i write on my arm!
hahah she's so observant eh! nope, its just that the words are written in RED.
then i read out loud to her,and laughed. HA HA HA.

oh, i wrote " ): i dont want to study anymore!"
heh
but hey, my mum smiled to me k! but i could read her bubble. her bubble wrote "what the hell were you thinking man!you better pass your prelims or else ~~you die~~ no piano!"

everyone! smileeeeeeeeeeeee. like this good apple(:

okay shall upload everrrrrything now!
BEFORE and..AFTER!

can you see the two extras at the back? they're really accurate in squeezing in eh?

AND HERE COMES MY SUPERCUTE JELLY!(:

2007-08-30T00:04:00.001+08:00

the day..i lost

i wrote one fucking long post just now, but decided to save as draft anyway.
haha

GOOD DAY TO US TOMORROW!
(:

CHEER UP.
STUDYHARD.
I AM YOUR MOTIVATION!
(:
with love.
-28082007

2007-08-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

tell me why would i give a damn about this.

i hope it'll just end this way fullstop but it wont
more to come, unfortunately.
i wanna give it away..
my life.
i feel damn depressed man.
HA HA HA.

2007-08-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

monday blues soon!
):

2007-08-26T03:02:00.000+08:00

my god, i have extremely weird sleeping patterns.
sometimes my sleeping hours are alright, but weekends are a total disaster
screw up my studying timetable, and if i wake up in the afternoon, it kills my mood for the entire day and i wont study!
see, now im not sleeping and im going to watch tv and find some online games to play to make myself tired so i'll go to sleep soon!

and i swear, im damn fat.
i have extra lumps of fats everyyyywhereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
totally gross.

2007-08-25T19:59:00.000+08:00

//editted.

honestly, i dont need this now.

econs fac was a disaster. i think i'll do very very badly for the essay. darent to think of the case study man, simply spent too much time on that. i think i misunderstood what the qns is asking for. arghhh essay, i hope i can even have a borderline pass now):
econs fac totally dampened my mood for the whole day.
but license to wed was gooooooooooood! i think im like self-entertained there, kept laughing then everyone else laugh, then continue laughing although the joke is over. ha ha ha.

two weeks to prelims.

so much to say.
with manymany thoughts.
but wont say it anyway.

okay, good day ppl.
stay optimistic(:

-
oh, did i say.
my family thinks im a lesbian.
i think, everytime they talk to me about certain stuff, this topic will somehow be the topic.
with the exception of talking about A's ah. oh and they dont talk to me often, maybe once every few weeks? haha.

after my haircut,
dajie: eh i ask you ah.
me: ask me what.
dajie: are you a lesbian?
-.-
and this tkgs friend too, thought that im one. how weirrrd.
but i do have a girlfriend,boyfriend blarblarblar. just terms.
and i m very proud to have them(:

are you feeling okay?
just stop getting goddamn depressed over each shit that happens!
how annoying.

2007-08-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

guess what!

i took bus 12 home today!
like after soooooo many days of cabbing back.

ahhh, econs this sat):
i feel more shitty after each econs lesson.
how.

2007-08-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

ahhh, chem and physics tmr!:/

and my hair..macam got burnt by fire!

2007-08-19T00:59:00.000+08:00

that one hour of standing. waiting for the fireworks, can die man. my legs are aching like shit. i need some leg massage, the whole body one would be good actually. we were damn tired we just bought drinks from BK and sat somewhere random for about an hour. our legs were close to falling apart man.
the fireworks display was very very very pretty. i was like wow-ing all the way!(:
and suddenly, i cant wait for the christmas season. i cant wait for december holidays i cant wait for A's to be over, i cant wait for year 2008. i cant wait for more fireworks!
i think this year's pretty bad for me. maybe its just the jc2's life. but im not even interested in going to a uni. hahaha okay, joking lah.

went 'shopping' in vivo but in the end, only spent in candyempire.close to thirty bucks. haha. i cant wait for the next season. new clothes. okay, i shall shop after prelims! so i'll be good and study now.for my prelims.
oh, and i'll find time to go movie.

and teachers in tpjc are..ermm..

If you've not been attending school because of your ballet lessons or your reunion with your long lost granduncle, please be reminded that you've a test coming up next Saturday.
oh yes. im aware of the econs fac next sat. and she said no excuses for bad results! i dont know how the hell im gonna study for it.

I was personnally upset that my efforts in ironing my shirt, brushing my teeth and combing my hair were in vain.
ohmygod, poor ct of mine.

weirdos.

mann, cant wait for A's to be over.
then i'll get my very own PIANO!
(:
and bf's bro went ..somewhere.. today! for four years. and i told her we'll go there to visit him after her A's! yayy. i dont mind, hopefully i'll be good and my parents will allow me and i'll have the money to go there. so exciting. now you see, why i cant wait for A's to be over. many many stuff awaiting
(:(:(:

2007-08-18T01:59:00.001+08:00

ahh, i dont know what to blog. but i'll just blog something for iyliana to read ah! haha, NICE me(:

and naturally, i'll start talking about math fac which we took just now. and it lasted for THREE freaking hours. sounds long, but when you attempt the qns, i guess i need a longer time. only if there's extra time, i might be able to..figure out how to integrate all that nonsense, and yeah, i guess i'll do badly ah. well, im like aiming for a C. but now im really unsure if im able to pass. as whats always said, aim higher! so maybe next time aim for A, i'll get B or C. sounds not bad for prelims. or the next math fac test. ahh, was quite depressed 'cause i realise i know how to do but then dont know what happened ah. i'd cry man. felt quite frustrated trying to do each one of them then skarli dont have enough time to go back to the previous qns that i left blanks.ahh, math is my best subject, i need to get an A man. for prelims for A's. if not, kill me. okay haha, iyliana, are you feeling stressed out now? i think i complained enough? yupp. 'cause i kept bringing up the topic on math fac then amina saba they all give me the -.- stare and say, that's the 20mins ago topic.
anyway, dinner was good, at long john. havent gone out to eat for a long time, havent stepped out of school so early in a longlong time and havent gone to tm for a long time! ahhh, i think its quite retarded but i miss the foodcourt there. i miss the peanut ice kacang we always eat. the place where the team always go for lunch. oh and in longjohn, we just crapped all the way. about piercings. and..i forgot the rest of the topics HAHAHA.
then we went TIMES. and we were talking about ears. yupp, like the two thingy at the side of your face sticking out? and iyliana said if your ears stick out, you're smart. thats why that old guy's picture is in the book. and i told them, they'll see my picture soon. then we started talking about making our ears stick out while taking pictures aiyoo, dont know how to say ah, 'cause it was really funny just now that they all laughed SO LOUDLY. i was feeling quite embarrassed actually.
then we went for a cheapskate icecream session at macs. and talking about fifty cents icecream turning into SIXTYCENTS icecream now. 'auntie, one sixty cents icecream'

-home and i am tired. but i dont know why im still awake now. its like 2.20am man. oh and today's the first day of this week that i didnt cab!wooohooo time for celebration. okay i spent alot this week. on cab, books, and the cafe's food. my god. the food's evil man. they'll make you buy more and more and more and more and they're like so damn ex. arghhh! and they make me damn FAT now. my god, i think im heavier than elvis wang and that is damn BAD. but im not going on diet, ha ha ha. even gf's calling me fatpig these few days ): i know im fat lah.

and i didnt go for fireworks festival today! (surprisingly) hahaha and i wanna go shopping tmr. tmr's plan will be shopping study and more shopping!i'l enjoy my saturday because sunday is the preparation to face the battle between the four tests next week and me! chiooooonnnggg ahhh!!! -random, i suddenly thought of something. 'be aggressive, be be aggressive' thats what i used to tell saba in k2.
oh yes, i miss rowing the k boats.

; a simple wish, yet cant be fulfilled.

'would you be there to save my soul tonight.

2007-08-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

okay. i know i should be studying now, and that i shouldnt even be blogging and wasting my time here. hellllll yeah, im so gonna regret this.
everytime you're soooooo tired from school its like darn mentally draining and finally you come home with dinner prepared and all and you'll feel really 'relieved' or. a little happy and just. comfortable to be home. yes, i do have that feeling..
BUT.(the stupid but.)
everytime i come back, there'd be something/someone spoiling everything, and then the feeling fadesss awayyy lalalaaaaaaaa. how it makes me regret of wanting to coming home asap kinda thing. its like 'darn. why do i even wanna come home.' oh god, you're so silly. ha ha ha -psst. IM MOVING OUT SOON!

MATH CAN GO DOWN TO HELL!!!
i have no idea how many 'dont want' ive said, how many 'die' ive said, how many 'ahhhhhh' ive screamed out loud, how many SECONDS that im not even feeling stresssed. i bet none HA HA HA. i feel so insane ohmygod. it was that close, yeah that close. when no one was there):

'no, i dont wanna ..
no, i wont.

2007-08-12T15:51:00.000+08:00

four days of holiday. nope, five. because i didnt go to school on wednesday for the celebrations. god, just kill me. what have i really done during these five days. ha ha ha.
if you put a tv in a study room, obviously you wont get down to studying man. like there's mtv, star movies, all the hongkong dramas going on throughout the night. ayy, if there's a computer in a study room, i think you'll get stuck online for the rest of the night chatting away. or just bloghopping or..whatever.
and ohhhhhhhhh my god, i have both in my study room!
thats it. i hope my com crash soon, so i wont touch the computer AT ALL. or blog about all this boliao stuff. hohoho. but not my tv.'cause ive been enjoying the company of my tv these five days. i love my tv so much i think i'm gonna fail my prelims and A's at this rate.
HAHAHA

BYEEE!
(:

see, ive wasted another few mins of my studying time here!
/:

2007-08-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

I like red it’s the color of an apple
Orange it’s the color of an orange
Yellow its a lemon and a beautiful sun sun sun
Green its the color of the trees and lots of living things
And then theres blue for the sky
And purple that’s a color that’s fun fun fun
When you put these colors side by side
What do you think you’ve done
You’ve made a rainbow
And it’s a really beautiful one!

-
ahhh,
i dont wanna study anymore man!
>:

2007-08-11T01:14:00.000+08:00

the world is flat!

damn it. feel so sinful these few days.
):

i feel so tired.
im so tired.
im very very tired.
and i feel damn tired.
): ): ):

2007-08-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

running away from reality.

happy birthday,singapore!(: (: (:
(to me, its still nineth aug huh.)
i love you so much.
as much as i love lao lee.

2007-08-08T23:37:00.001+08:00

nyny was good. and adding on to the sinful food, we had fondue for dessert!(: (: (: i spent almost three day's allowance. just on food. im so bloody fat now, i should go on diet. SOON. i should only have one meal a day man. hahahah only if i can control myself. maybe i should just survive on bread. hahahahaa. i think i laughed too much just now. when we're bored, we'll talk nonsense. okay not we, they!haha about that guy working at haagandaz who looks like - and alot of censored stuff. hahaha oh man, i swear im gaining weight. damnnnnnn.

oh. and i swear, its damn creepy to walk past the katong laska area there. 'cause there'd be alot of ji go peks (some half dressed) sitting outside drinking or smoking. or the workers from k.l sitting at the tables drinking talking cock and they looked. not normal, seriously. ahhhhh. they looked scary la. and sometimes, they wave, smile to you, and talk to you hahahaha retard ppl. okay whatever.

and i didnt go to school today! heard it was fun, but i had my beauty sleep.hahahaha then did a bit of chem, chem kinetics is darn difficult. i hate it. then went out.
ahhh, it was nice catching up with aretha, dorea and dinah. yesssss i know. dinah finally appeared. hahaha. but jodd didnt come): 'cause of her always-going-on netball matches.

colours make the world go rrrrouuuunnnnddddddd.
thank you, amina!(:

2007-08-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

finally caught alone today!(:
pretty scary. to sit beside that girl. she kept screaming i think my hrt just dropped like that.
wahhh, she really scream very loud leh.hahaha

okay. lets go through the boring draggy tuesday slowly ..

first two periods was spe. and i was contemplating if i should go. 'cause i was damn tired and i wanted to skip as saba didnt come to school so no one will be playing badminton with me. and then.. fine, in the end i went 'cause not many girls went for spe. me being nice dragged myself to the track. and we ran THREE rounds. i swear man, i was feeling really lazy 'cause (once again) i was very tired and edel just pulled me along to run. okay then blarblarblar.

oh when chew was talking to us, this guy was playing piano in the hall. and he plays nice(: hahah because i knew what songs he played! but i just forgot whats the title. then i wasnt concentrating on badminton.
okay. after spe was chem which was boring then i used the computer in the comp lab. and i did this!

then was econs lecture i almost DIED. i slept a few mins here and there. and miss tan has decided to use some music therapy thing to 'motivate' us or something. but. the songs were making me more sleepy!or is it sleepier.hahaha only if she plays kirara. maybe then its a different thing.
oh during gp, i do not know why. but edel amina and lily kept laughing. just because i make retarded faces. eyerr. what nonsense. im not that drama la. haha and then. i think thats all to my tuesday. how boring.

and i spent almost one hour in popular! deciding which file to buy. and i spent over ten bucks there. oh my, the price of pen is increasing like no one's business. i pity poor students, like me.heh and that's where i met lily amina and shai!
and then walked out to the traffic there. got something going on.
ahhh,
ohwell. quite saddening.
):

-
oh.
I CANT WAIT FOR TMR!
NEWYORKNEWYORK!!
(: (: (:

2007-08-05T21:12:00.000+08:00

okay. what now.
slit my wrist.
or my throat (eww, thats bloody disgusting.)
burn my notes.
just skip straight to school.
shut them up.
and i really meant all of them.
they're such noisy bitches.
run away.
to somewhere safe.
somewhere with the wind. and stars.
or somewhere high enough.
get a long term mc.
just shoot me in my head please.
one quick, painless death.
so..
tell me what now?

i feel sucha moron.

2007-08-05T01:32:00.000+08:00

;im reaching for your shadow.

HAHAHA. i think. so many ppl went to marina bay to catch the fireworks for the last preview and in the end, there's NO fireworks!hehh i feel sad for them. ohmy, so evil. i bumped into so many ppl today! from chuanting and friend to mayyee chanliying and wanyun to xinyan and her classmates to edel lily and their friend!okay. not alot of ppl la. i went from shop to shop and finally settled at yoshi for my first meal of the day-dinner! then wanted to have fondue but NO MORE!): we went gelare in the end and had some icecream.
im satisfied with my day today. thankyou bf for accompanying me!(:

oh and dorea msged me today and she's gonna date me real SOON.like next week. okay not just the both of us, plus my FATaretha and joddddddd too. dinah's like always MIA. i cant cant cant wait for the outing(: ahhh, so excited. i miss all of them.

ohsostressed.
):

-i wanna know how have you been.

2007-08-04T02:59:00.000+08:00

ADAM&EVE.
ohsosweet.
(:

damn i need to sleep now.
goodnight loved ones.

2007-08-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

'all i ask of you.
the brightest star in my sky.

you know, when i see you all,
i get soooo stressed up):
tell me how.
~~-fatfat's so retarded.~~
i dont wanna go to school anymore.
): ): ): ): ): ): ):

that hurts.
A L O T.

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained

2007-08-03T01:28:00.001+08:00

A L O N E .

2007-08-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

):
i guess im just not feeling okay?
ayy.

2007-08-01T21:16:00.000+08:00

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrything
laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

done.

2007-07-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

I'm riding it out
This storm that you brought in
Bringing it down
On me around
For you, I'd go again

When you're all alone
With the melody
Do you close your eyes
And think of me?
Will you still hear me singing anymore
When five becomes four?

2007-07-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

MONDAY BLUES!
): ): ):

its only the beginning of our new timetable.
and today turned out that way..
how lousy.

'just like how the inbox messages
were deleted.

2007-07-29T14:34:00.000+08:00

//editted, 3rd time.

HOHOHO.
this is my 1000th entry.
-
So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late,
this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end

-
wow. this weekend.
just now i was thinking about all the work ive done. sounds alot. but doesnt look alot. hahaha i was so excited 'cause i thought i did alot so i told iyliana what ive done, then like..really doesnt look alot man. now i dont feel accomplished anymore): its like abit here and abit there. whatever la. and tonight we're having some buffet dinner for grandmama's bday. i didnt know until. evening? i was thinking of having a quick dinner then do some math. but i think i can forget about it now. hahah

oh friday was splendid, because of seoul garden which i dont like it very much. but we had fun there. mel was sucha bimbo, we laughed like shit. good company, and lots of fun. i like!
this weekend is good(:
of course, there are the saddening frustrating moments during the weekend too.
ohwell. what to do, i dont know either.

yeah baby, stay with me. dont go away.

'only if..
im able to force my way through
that door.

anything that you desire..

where's that number!
i dont see it anymore.

2007-07-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

my god, so whats with the timetable half empty looking like we end ohsoearly everyday when ahhhhhhhhh, the teachers have yet to occupy the empty slots. and today miss tan informed us that we have FOUR STRAIGHT PERIODS OF ECONS on tuesday.. my god. i think my butt will rot at the end and we're ending at 430pm! ahhhhhh, tuesday is meant to be a short and happy day):

hahaha, i think edel is damn kental. and her math lecture is in audi too! and she kept saying that im happy that im spending 2 periods together with her and blarblarblar.

i was taking pictures of myself. yes like me alone. and then some kpoh and kental ppl from my right and left decided to pop in. hahaha but the pictures are .quite nice. i think. oh yeah, look at our kuku hairstyle. haha 'cause fringes are ever so irritating.

oh, and max! with his looklikepak hairstyle. and marist guys are pervertic!hahahaha

AND

i was NOT drunk during math lecture.

2007-07-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

feeling quite lazy to blog. but since ive entered. lets get down to ~~work~~ blogging. haha
've been feeling really tired these few days. high for a few moments and just simply dead for the rest of the day. but im quite satisfied with today. i passed my physics lecture test(: quite surprising despite the horrendous mood that day. oh and we have the banding for math lecture now. it sucks, like totally. so messy and all of us are separated.

thought of alot of stuff just now. i didnt choose to, but they all came back to me. bf said i saw my life flash before my eyes. hahaha well, it was just for that bus ride home.
was initially thinking of how im preparing for prelims and the huge A's now. and was comparing to how i prepared for promos last year. when i stayed back everyday to study in the school library. and all the memories there. and then came, the friends ive met in this school. whether the superficial friendships or not. i know i like each one of them. yeah. i thought of our team. and what became of us throughout the one plus years. many thing happened, we all know that. what we went through, and how each one of us changed. for the better or worse. but i'll just love you all as a team. hehh and i thought of a few. the few. and those who just come and go.

you, someone whom i relied on alot in the past. admit i was quite dependent on you. 'cause you're always there. knowing that i can count on you whenever im troubled, a ring or msg away. i knew i could trust you alot. and that i can reach out to you, easily. you're happy now. and thats all it matters.
friend, i dont know what our friendship holds. 'cause i feel like, how long our friendship last depends on only one factor.
yeah, guess thats all i remembered. there's alot more but lazy ah.

you are my strength when i am weak.
you're the treasure that i seek.
you're my all in all.
(:

okay,
this is hopeless.
ha ha.

you'll have brightened up my day(:

2007-07-24T20:42:00.000+08:00

biase makes wonder. they make me laugh, and enjoy spe like hell. (although i was bloody tired and obviously, not in a very good mood.)
but hey, today's spe was real fun. although i wanted to skip it, and study physics instead. yes, in the end me being nice and good went for spe and did not study for physics. and we played badminton. highlight of the day: i was playing badminton with saba, and there was this moment, i wanted to give it a power shot. and hit the shuttlecock real HARD. and guess what happened, instead of hitting that white thing, the racket slipped out of my hand, and flew to the other side of the court and landed in front of saba. my god, that was damn embarrassing because no one could have seen a somuchbiggerthanashuttlecock thing flying over the net. edel and saba laughed like shit la. wth. but badminton's good. i like, though its tiring and boring and i feel like ive learnt no new skills haha.
anyway, i was really tired the rest of the day. i was 85% dead. i feel like a walking zombie in school. and the worst thing was miss tan dragged the lesson till 4plus almost 5pm when we were supposed to end at 310pm! but cant blame her. we had to finish the stuff fast. and i have a feeling im gonna do notsogood for micro.

i never had a good feeling about this.
because it hit so hard like how it used to be.
just that its another one.
a different one.

Standing alone with no direction
How did I fall so far behind?
Why Am I searching for perfection?
Knowing it's something I won't find
I run
Till the silence splits me open
I run
Till it puts me underground
Till I have no breath
And no roads left but one
When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?

2007-07-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

i have a selective memory. which is not a bad thing. ive already forgotten some stuff. when you asked me again that day at this place, i'll probably need another hour to recall what had happened.
i hope, when the clock strikes 12, i'll forget today. (selectively) i feel so tired now, today is enough. but i know this is not the end.
but..
-
dont ask me to stop worrying.
im gonna study a little of physics then bedtime.

oh, happy birthday nicholas(:
although you wont be seeing this.
haha

2007-07-22T21:01:00.001+08:00

//editted.

the lies you told,
the pain you've inflicted,
the truth you hid
and now..
it doesnt really matter anymore
right

maybe i just need another drink.

-
; so lost without you.

craving for ice cream now.
thinking of ben&jerry's.
okay.
ive started doing work.
though not alot, thats what bf claimed. but who cares la. i was quite distracted the whole day. must be my tummy) i did chem, did econs and doing gp now.
ohbaby im sucha good girl.
-yeah right.

bb's birthday is coming.
its on da 26th july. and he's like. six years old!
ohmygoodness, to me, he's forever two years old(:
forever my little baby.

monday sucks.
its coming alr.

whats this, when its not true from your heart.

2007-07-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

no more meet the parents session for me!
>:

yesterday was the canoeist chalet, but i didnt stayover. cabbed home around 1+ am.
(then, i felt the usual again.)
the game they organised was good. haha all the nonsensical dares were funny. it was fun (:
(will never forget mr chua's dare!)
yes, i'll miss the team.
i wonder, when's the next time we're gonna gather around as a team again.
when all of us go our separate ways, after A's.
sounds like when Iphigenia had the POP, we never really came together again.):
but im still glad to be able to meet up with aqilah and khadijah.
the future's so unpredictable.
hehh, im gonna analyze my crystal ball now.

life's so messy now.
im gonna study soon!
TOMORROW IS THE DAY!
(:
study study study.
i better pass ALL subjects for my prelims.
i dont have a choice.
that's the command given by her.

confused, over what ive been thinking.
but its okay.
guess it'll soon be over.
right?
-prove me wrong.

2007-07-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

bahhhh.
there's econs test tmr.
and i think im gonna screw it up.
and its after school.
stuck in the LT for 2 hours plus.
tmr's just not the day.

im losing econs ):

happy faces in school,
will certainly make my day
(:

hey you,
i havent talked to you
for sucha.
long.
time.
..
):

2007-07-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

fuck lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
everything's getting on my nerve. ayy, i think i get irritated easily. like really easily. as long as i see or hear something that'll spark off an eruption, i'll just..probably explode.
my mood is getting worse day by day. in fact, this week has been really a bad one. started off like shit and i guess it'll end like cow dung. im feeeeeeeling rather depressed now. hahahaha but i dont know over what. i want heaven's happiness back. i want my number nine back. i need it alot.
i dont think i shouted at you okay, maybe i talked a little louder than usual. alright my bad. but dont you think you're being unreasonable. in trying to control me? please la. cant you just trust. its not like..im gonna kill someone or. i dont know whats up in your mind la. what is wrong with you guys man. you dont understand me AT ALL. never did anyway.

oh, im going for fireworks. on 18th aug.at marina bay.

okay i dont feel excited for anything that's coming like this fireworks celebration or the chalet this friday at this point of time.
'cause NOW.
i feel really unhappy.
):

the scar will always be there.
always..

2007-07-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

The moon got lost again last night

im feeling pretty frustrated now.
but i dont know why.
seems like. i cant seem to find anyone whos 'free'.
quite hard huh.
i dont feel comfortable approaching some friends,
talking about any other topics.
true that,
things have changed alot in school.
the impressions of one another,
the attitudes we're showing each other.
the tone we're using now,
what's this man. its not the same anymore.
i've changed a great deal.
i guess, more of the negative way.
i dont feel secured at all.
):

; cloud number nine
nice song. it has the good number.
cheerup okay.

2007-07-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

my wife is a gangster 3.
i like her stare.
hahahaha
and all the shades the retards were wearing.
i had fun laughing at every single thing during the movie.
hehh but quite boring nia.

i never liked this feeling,
feels like its back.
just like the past.
no, it cant be.
over it
man.
give me something new.
(:

school is SO boring!

2007-07-15T21:48:00.000+08:00

' every little thing you said to me in the past.

it seems insignificant.
but to me, its a whole different meaning.

bahhh, i feel so slack-y now. i dont feel like doing anything but just eat, sleep and eat.
and making it more sucky, tmr's monday. so obviously, im gonna drag myself to school and try not to stone during classes. ha ha. there'd be no more trainings now. its like three times a week to four times to five times. and now? no more! another big change in life. this feeling of nothing-to-do-after-school makes everyday mundane man. i think i'll die before the A's comes.
anyway, i finally told my mum about the parents meeting and my results. that i failed ALL. heh and i laughed to her. didnt really scold me. but ohwell, i'll start studying soon, i promise.

tears aint worth it.
at least, not for you'll.

2007-07-13T20:46:00.001+08:00

im gonna die hard.

mount faber was good.
that was the only place i enjoyed yday.
im sucha good suggest-er
(:
felt like ive been brought away from them.
just like kirara.
i like!

-TPJCanoeists!
simply, loves with them.

2007-07-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

ass la. i finally logged into MSN like after how many billion tries and im able to log in after correcting the time and date in the comp. wth..
anyway nationals over, at least for me. yea. guess everything's alright. i wasnt really upset. but i was quite upset. hahah i think only some ppl get what i said la huh.
im very proud of my other girls who finally fought their way into finals. and tmr's their last race, this last stretch to show what is tpjcanoeists like. def not for other schools to cancel out on their list for next year's nationals.
elvis suzhen evelyn aisyah denise rachel melissa yvonne and shujie im so proud of you all(:

and i bet my classmates missed out alot, although i didnt miss out alot for skipping school for three days. hehhh they missed out alot of me. heh heh heh.

expected, you didnt come, hah but i was glad you text instead. though i didnt do anything about it, i didnt hold onto much hope either. since it was a 'schoolday'.
i guess its just that i conclude.
promises are merely words that can be erased off.
as easy as that.
how disappointing.

i havent die hard yet. and im gonna watch harry potter soon. im sooooo excited. though im quite worried about not being able to cope with schoolwork after i go back. okay time to sleep!

oh and i saw SIX puppies today. ohmygod, they're so mega cute and i dont know if they're being abandoned. well, i dont think so right since the socalled owners who looked quite scary are like sitting near the puppies. maybe giving them away. ahhhh, im gonna buy two dogs with my own money next time! so exciting. i cant wait for A's to be over. hehhhh
okay dreaming alr. GOODNIGHT!

2007-07-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

i have faith in you.
i know its all planned out.
i know you've already known the results.
everything's arranged accordingly.
every minute and seconds of each of our lives.
and i know i can trust you, for what you've in for us.

if that were to happen, pls give me peace.
some time to reflect on my own.

2007-07-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

i so want to quit school.
goddamnit

nationals here. in 2 days.
goodluck to me, and iloveyoufour.
(:

2007-07-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

so bedok reservoir was filled with so many ppl and so many boats all over because everyone had to weigh their boats. then went to pizza hut for lunch and talked for quite a long time. and i went to look for miss angchuanting. took a bus to her hse sat below her block and daniel came then talk eat drink and they decided to go somewhere else like billybombers in century square.
thats all for today.

FATchuanting!

EMOdan.hahahahah

max! on mr chua's bday(:

jelly's so cute right! i like!(:

last but not least, during math lesson, i realise..
BELINDAROCKS! (although i failed my mid years)
(:

2007-07-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

emoboy,
cheer up man.
we'll find the number nine for you soon alright!
SMILE!
(:
"happiness is within your hands"

2007-07-04T20:24:00.000+08:00

i dont want to expect anything else when the last thing on my mind has alr happened. of all subjects, that had to be the one. that i was hoping to pass. even with just a borderline mark. no, i did not make it. and not for the rest either. but im alright now. felt much better after training. ahh, now i cant concentrate during lessons. either im slping or drawing random stuff on papers or taking pictures or just something. i really dread school man. i dont wish to take back any more papers):

ohh, i happily just slept through math today after taking back our papers when she went through vectors tutorial. hahaha im so tired now but nope, im not slping very early tonight
so bye people!

kk,
9) cheer up.

2007-07-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

fish la i feel so irritated now. i cant find my vector notes anywhere! and there's make up lecture tmr. arghh, i think school is redundant tmr. ):

anyway, happy birthday mr chua.
cafe cartel was good. ate alot. plus icecream waffle mudpie and cake.
and jelly so cute! hohoho
(:

//editted.
OHMYGOD. i searched my whole study room inside out and my study room is not very neat esp after the midyears plus all the barangbarang and presents everywhere and i remembered my vector notes is with my partner, TAN XINYI!
i swear my room is worse than a pig sty. first study table filled with alot of books which im not using plus presents on the table (mine and others which i feel quite lazy to give haha) second study table has more presents and my jc stuff. one comp chair with many thousands of bags piled on top. another chair my not-ironed uniform plus more bags and jacket and im sitting on the third chair. there's like mahjong tiles and tables everywhere my cousins' toys at one side and the ironingboard and SO ON. and shopping stuff on the floor untouched hahahah
okay. this is very very very messy. but i dont give a damn.
hahahahahaha

oh. i just realise i could have just taken a picture and post it here! instead of wasting my mins to describe the room!hahahah how stupid.
a picture speaks a thousand words.

2007-07-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

today i woke up just in time for my show. and then waited for lunch and flew to pasir ris meet up with the girls and start doing mr chua's birthday card. it took us. a few hours man. which is damn long. and it was damn cold. i think i stone most of the time. and almost fell aslp.haha too tired. then rushed to grandfather's hse for dinner which is like almost nothing left and total time spent in my grandfather's place was like at most ten mins. then rushed home to put my bag came out 2 mins later and headed to parkway to eat cheesecake. i bought a necklace okay im bloody broke now. then chopchop went starbucks for cheesecake. (while chuanting was enjoying hers at cheesecake cafe): ) and my cousin was telling me about the movie silent hill. sounds quite nice i wanna watch its so damn scary. haha
went home, had durians. my god, i feel fat now hohoho.
five trainings left.

-
okay. training. would say i dont really enjoy it. because nationals is coming. i feel a little frustrated every time i think about it coming in a week's time. the feeling's horrible la. so bad till i can just sit and cry. hohoho. i dont feel prepared for it. its not i dont have the confidence but how can we improve man, really.. its very tiring trying to expect much from each training and yet, at the end, what we get is just disappointments. or maybe disappointments with my own performance. how to race man..okay i think alot of ppl wanna slap me now. hahah i want to slap myself awake too. well thats how i feel la. i dont even dare to think of the possibility of getting into semis or finals. rest assured i'll do my utmost best. but yah.
AAHHHHHHHHH. how to not think so much. when everyone's saying diff stuff.

okay. done ranting. time to slp. haha
(:

2007-07-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

today's training was at seven AM. my god, its so early i was so scared of walking into the reservoir alone 'cause its quite dark and luckily i met denise and aisyah at the carpark there.heh after training was fantastic 'cause we caught TRANSFORMERS. its fucking good man i was damn high before the movie and evelyn and i kept laughing damn loudly but the movie is bloody good the way the robots transformed and like zoomzoomzoom.( okay you'll get what i mean when you all watch the movie) bumblebee almost died, and i DIDNT cry. haha lucky me. but the whole movie is like so entertaining that your eyes are like superglued to the screen(:

after that, went home rest for a while then changed and headed to town. just felt like going town today. yupp window shopped abit before eve came down. we ate dinner tgt and went separate ways. eve and i walked to cine. wanted to eat icecream at this place but they had like 6 grps of ppl on waiting list. so we went out to NYDC to check out and they had a long queue too, so we went swensens and they had an even longer queue. i was whining and wahlauing and feeling goddamn irritated because i wanted to eat icecream but the whole damn town's so crowded there's queue everywhere. luckily eve can take it and asked to go back to cine. luckily we walked past NYDC there was no queue then we went there to eat mudpie! yumyum and guess what we did while eating. heh heh. it was good anyway(:

so first highlight of the day was transformers, second was in town and i shall say the third now.
we were boarding bus 16 where eve can take to dhoby gaut mrt and thats a straight bus to my hse. so we were going up the bus, and it was quite packed at the door. and then i turned behind to eve and i saw my SISTER behind her. and.. i SCREAMED. like just went ahhhhhhhhh. and her bf behind my sister went "wahlau your sister siao one ah" (anyway he has been saying that for the past few days because i was having midyrexam stress i kept screaming randomly at home) ohmygod, what a place to meet them. bus sixteen. horrifying. yucks and they were poking fun at me for being noisy, kanchiong, crazy, looking like one ahlian. my god.

okay. i havent bathed yet and i just reached home haha.
overall, today was good. despite being so tired.

2007-06-29T22:26:00.000+08:00

what if someone comes to tell you that,
you're just a 'character'. and you arent real.
though you feel like any other ordinary person.

; every life is an actor's stage.

is mine just another story in the book.

okay. sorry haha too much of tv makes me become nonsensical.
feel quite irritated now.
they're returning the scripts next week.
which is before nationals.
i feel damn fuckedup now
and about nationals..
):

2007-06-28T21:11:00.000+08:00

I don't know
How to feel
Let the words
Come easily to me
You seem lost
In your thoughts
I find it hard to breathe

have you ever felt so horrible on the inside that you just want to tear your night away,
but whats wrong.

HAHAHA.
i didnt manage to finish the 30MCQs of physics paper today. so at the last minute of the one hour, i just shaded any letter for..i dont know how many qns. im doomed.
im so tired, training's starting tmr which marks the end of our horrendous common tests. and i feel even more tired thinking of next next week's big event. ohyeah, the nationals.we can do this we can do this ohhhh we can do this man partner!(:
if you remember the promise, that would be great, honestly..
slapped back to reality, after nationals we cant play for long, because about a months plus to two months will be our prelims. but im really gonna havoc after nationals. i dont care at least for A NIGHT.bartop dancing.woots.hahaha im feeling excited now yayy.

okay im off to watch tv!
chem's tmr ohyeah,
and ive not touched organic chem and periodicity.heh

2007-06-27T22:14:00.001+08:00

//editted
-
i think im really one big retard. i blogged so many times today.anyway
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUR ASYIKIN NASER!(:
MY DEAREST GIRL IM HAPPY BECAUSE IM THE FIRST TO WISH YOU!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-
i must be sucha retarded person who came online like 45496735443487 times in a day, and havent studied for physics tmr.

screw it up man.

chuanting's jealous, no photos of her.

so here's one entry for her(:

date soon?

2007-06-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

mood's been damn bad.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i have a random craving.
subway cookies.

2007-06-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

; reminded me alot about you

-

You just can't escape it
You're losing patience
You wonder what went wrong
Everything changes
Happy then jaded
Always a different song
Playing in your head just when you think you've got it down
Out of nowhere you realize it's different music playing now

nothing ever really last.

photos from malaysia on mummy's bday, finally

i said, the mango is as big as -.haha

2007-06-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

HOHOHO.

tv all the way!
(:

2007-06-24T14:07:00.000+08:00

I'm confusing as hell
I'm north and south
And I'll probably never have it all figured out
But what I know is
I wasn't meant to walk this world
without you.

i remembered i wrote this phrase behind a photo,
even if you fall, be assured that we'll be there to cushion your fall.
or something like that.
haha, and its hidden up now by the way, so i guess you'd never get to see the phrase.

MC?
no?
alright, im out of home.

give me a smile, and you'll be free of problems.
yayy.
aeroplanes!

2007-06-23T22:49:00.001+08:00

i swear i didnt plan to blog, but i feel so ultramega stressed that i feel like crying. i want to go out. out of home to anywhere. to the beach where i feel most at ease, and relaxed.
i was having stressedup swings from common tests to nationals to common tests and to nationals and so on. i swear its really crazy. but i cant help it. i know im wasting time here blogging about shit stuff but im really feeling abit screwed so taking a lil break to blog about..
nonsense.
im not done with econs, and sunday's booked for organic chemistry. im really tempted to take a MC for monday. i really dont wanna fail badly ): i'll feel like i let the teachers down, and myself down. and i dont wanna get back my results. im so scared man. so scared that my horrible results will just affect the shit out of me and what if it impacts so much that my performance during training will get affected as well and i cant bloody afford to waste time during trainings because there are six effing trainings left before nationals. or maybe seven. whatever it is, i dont want to get back my common test results until after nationals): ): ):

anyway, today's DB nationals, and im really really really proud of the girls. good job to us! (:
4th and colours award (:

my sister's in genting with her bf now, and my da jie maybe going shanghai with her friend end of july and my parents maybe going shanghai end of october. what is the world coming to! abandoning me just before my A's, i want to go overseas tooo. after A's, def..

today on the way to training, i was quite high i was talking about all the vehicles i can drive next year because im the oldest among the girls and i can get my driving license and because transport fees will be so mega high. so i was talking about driving a cab and charge them so i can earn some money or drive some motorbike with the thing connected to it or the trishaw(sp?). i forgot what else.

and im still feeling stressed. my house is not tall enough for me to jump off.
okay. study econs!

2007-06-20T23:17:00.000+08:00

; dont give up on me before i do

honestly, i feel like dying. i think everyone does at this point of time, when its only four days away from common tests. just did one chp of chemistry. and i feel sick of mugging for cts. quite dumb but i guess im really giving up on trying to score for it. ive been trying to deal with some kinda pressure, and i feel soooooooooo tired. more like brain dead. i guess if i dont buck up for the last four days before the bloody tests, last resort, im gonna get MCs. which is highly impossible 'cause i wont know how to explain to my mummy. maybe just cry in her arms and whine it away HAHA. just joking.
in any way, i feel like s h i t ever since..that day.

screamoutloud: give me a tall building!

2007-06-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

surprisingly, i was only a little bothered. no worries, im still working fine. i have my partner to push me, and make me stronger.
expectations too high, i cant give you much. my apologies, ive been hiding in one corner. wait till the tests are over, i bet it'll get worse.

anyway, today's training, slashed off a few seconds. ppl say we're good, not bad for our third training tgt, but i still dont know where we stand. but i dont wish to know either. capped and the boat scraped my skin, i pity my right hand. the previous scrapings of skin from k4 was from my right hand too. and its effing painful. ohman.

ohyah haha, today gf and i noticed this lady. average looking and her figure is like..woots. okay random.
and i know,
how far away i am from you now.

2007-06-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

i ate like some fat pig. and i slept, i really feel fat now. so luckily, there's still training.
even if i get heavier, the boat will glide more (: positive mindset. haha

talked to chuanting on the phone today after a thousand hours of not hearing her voice. not that i missed her voice but i remembered in tkgs, i used to see her EVERYDAY during our june hols. now's the opposite case, havent seen her for a loonggg looongggg timeee. yupp, caught up a little with her then hang up, to..'study'.

quite depressing when everyone's like mugging like shit because its the last week of hols and im not making the effort to really focus on what i should do. all i do is just making notes and more notes but i dont really remember those chemical eqns. SIGH.

random but yah,
i like fairytales.
(: (: (:

and bless me. thanks.

2007-06-17T20:47:00.001+08:00

only one week to common tests.
thats it man. i just feel like.not studying for the last week. just train sleep eat sleep and slack. okay, talking about the impossible and i just remembered there's econs lesson tmr and there's not very light training tmr and im so dead. i dont think i can stay awake man.or maybe i wont go.fuck.
oh, and another exciting news. there's DB nationals on saturday and there's DB training on thursday like what the (another)fuck. so basically, i have trainings from mon to thursday and sat's booked by the bloody nationals. oh yes, left with the whole of friday and sunday free for revisions. hurray man..
just think about it man, you seriously wont feel like studying at all. there's no motivation..
): ): ):